Monday, July 8, 2013

Drake-faces and other things that should be outlawed

I'll get to the faces in a minute.
I am in week two of a gluten-free, vegan experiment and I am a bit hungry and grumpy as will be evident in this post. I need a chili cheeseburger.
Have you ever had another design blogger come to your house and have the overwhelming urge to apologize for all of the ugly crap in your house that you haven't gotten around to changing?
That was me Saturday morning at 10 am.

I had already joked about my ugly kitchen floor and the still unpainted walls in some rooms and somehow found the strength to avoid total dorkdom by commenting on all of the orange wood in my house.
The suburbs just wouldn't be the same without orange wood and the economy might collapse entirely if all of those 50 gallon drums of the stuff were suddenly outlawed.
Have you ever wondered who picked this for the standard builder wood stain? 
Usually wood is stained a color that it might actually turn if oiled and left alone for 100 years.
The other thing I have decided to hate is ceiling fan /light combos.

I am not thrilled with ceiling fans but they are a necessary  evil in some parts.
I have the ghastly builder version.
Just because fans and lights would both be useful on the ceiling does not mean they should be combined.
A toilet and a bidet...useful in the same place...not good to combine.

It doesn't make it any better to make it look all space age.
There should be a $300 fine for using them.

Now I should explain the term "drake-face". Drakes are the name of a male ducks.

Just when I thought that Restoration Hardware dominated the man -duck-face in print I saw this...

iphone photo
Its an ad in Elle Decor. I laughed out loud and still can't look at it without smirking.
That guy and his mustache just said, "We have this Indie-barbershop quartet and it was so hot that we took these bedazzled inner-tubes on our electric scooters to the ironic swimming hole." Then he made a drake-face and now the water is cooler.

Karen very kindly featured me in an interview with her 2013 Artist Series. Be sure to stop by.


Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door said...

Restoration doesn't even know what joy they bring me - when it comes to a good laugh. :) Stay strong with the diet girlfriend!!

Vel Criste said...

Hahahaha!!! Thanks for making me laugh Kerry!!!! Good luck with the diet - let us know if you feel 'lighter' and more 'cleansed' after it! ;-)

ArchitectDesign™ said...

ugh yes -ceiling fans. I love a fan sadly but they're ALL UGLY. I always just go the plain white, no light, simple simple simple route and pray it disappears into the white ceiling. I have one in my bedroom actually.
And the suburban oak syndrome (SOS) - so bad. unfortunately refinishing them is so expensive though! Keep on the lookout for pretty rugs while thrifting is the best solution -haha.

Patty Day @Pattys Epiphanies said...

Are you planning the gluten-free, vegan diet for ever!!! Big commitment, not sure I could do it. Good luck!!!
Fans...a No No in the BLH! Thanks to MC. He can't take the draft they create! He pulls up a Hoody when the air comes on! This has been a blessing for me... now instead of fans...I have chandeliers!!

Bethany [at] Powell Brower Home said...

HAAHAHAHA drake face. at first I thought you meant the rapper, Drake. that's just horrible - why would they do that?

Kim said...

I am sorry you are grumpy ... but the diet has luckily not ruined your humor. You made me laugh ... these drakes need a dunk!! xoxo

Pura Vida said...

oh my Lord you made my day and now I am craving a chili cheese burger..with onions!!!

oh you funny girl!

The Pink Pagoda said...

I've been gluten and sugar free since October. Not sure I could do Vegan, though. I absolutely love your caption for the ridiculous photo. It couldn't be more perfect for it : )

Julie Taylor and Danni Greenwalt said...

I can relate...I'm gluten free and now on a cleansing diet...I'm starving too...I can only eat caveman style...anything that's low sugar fruits, veges and just cant get full eating broccoli! Good luck...