Do you speak bench?

If I had, say 10,000 square feet to play with, I would certainly employ the use of a bench or two.

The iconic Barcelona by Mies van der Rohe would be my first choice.

I do like an x-bench too. In pairs, of course.

This one is for keeping your friends from copying your test answers, no?

 

Not all benches are created equal.

This one is boys who wear tights and like to jump and flip around.

There is also the category "Just because you can doesn't mean you should" and the bench below wins the prize for butt ugly (teehee) in that category.

Drake-faces and other things that should be outlawed

I'll get to the faces in a minute.

I am in week two of a gluten-free, vegan experiment and I am a bit hungry and grumpy as will be evident in this post. I need a chili cheeseburger.

Have you ever had another design blogger come to your house and have the overwhelming urge to apologize for all of the ugly crap in your house that you haven't gotten around to changing?

That was me Saturday morning at 10 am.

I had already joked about my ugly kitchen floor and the still unpainted walls in some rooms and somehow found the strength to avoid total dorkdom by commenting on all of the orange wood in my house.

The suburbs just wouldn't be the same without orange wood and the economy might collapse entirely if all of those 50 gallon drums of the stuff were suddenly outlawed.

Have you ever wondered who picked this for the standard builder wood stain? 

Usually wood is stained a color that it might actually turn if oiled and left alone for 100 years.

The other thing I have decided to hate is ceiling fan /light combos.

I am not thrilled with ceiling fans but they are a necessary  evil in some parts.

I have the ghastly builder version.

Just because fans and lights would both be useful on the ceiling does not mean they should be combined.

A toilet and a bidet...useful in the same place...not good to combine.

It doesn't make it any better to make it look all space age.

There should be a $300 fine for using them.

Now I should explain the term "drake-face". Drakes are the name of a male ducks.

Just when I thought that Restoration Hardware dominated the man -duck-face in print I saw this...

iphone photo

Its an ad in Elle Decor. I laughed out loud and still can't look at it without smirking.

That guy and his mustache just said, "We have this Indie-barbershop quartet and it was so hot that we took these bedazzled inner-tubes on our electric scooters to the ironic swimming hole." Then he made a drake-face and now the water is cooler.

Karen very kindly featured me in an interview with her 2013 Artist Series. Be sure to stop by.

Mistakes I have made in decorating

This is going to be embarrassing...gulp.

This post is not so much about my taste or not being trendy but more general mistakes I have made in decorating choices.

Mistake #1. Fighting your space, aka trying to shove Downton Abbey into a cottage

While there are elements of this former living room that I love, I took it too far, too heavy and too Granny.

I was going for an English country house look but  in a Cape Cod, with a tight budget and this gawd awful wood burner that I nicknamed, Bubba.

I so hated the 1960s orange oak trim and that fireplace trim that I ignored it. I did not have the budget to remove Bubba, fix the flooring and add a fireplace. Although,one January morning (actually 21 of them) I was glad to have Bubba when our furnace died.

I digress, my point is don't try to make a palace out of a cottage. I could have much more successfully ignored the elements I did not like, had I kept the decor more relaxed and casual. Lighter and brighter would have worked better.

Mistake #2. Not visually connecting items

Those antique frames and photo would not have looked too high had I placed a normal chair underneath but they appear to be floating away from the low lying bench. Now I could not add pillows to that bench as it was used for hats and gloves and needed to be opened by young children daily.

I could have extended the grouping on the wall, gallery wall style farther down the wall visually connecting the items.

Ahhh! That is enough embarrassing photos of my life for one day. I am cringing right now. I don't even want to think about the tragic paint color I chose for a kitchen and this was when I was a working designer!
What mistakes have you made? Fess up people.

Let's talk

I saw this quote and thought, "really?"

True style has the chance to emerge when you stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, will think, or might say.

I love an ounce of fearlessness in decor but total abandon without regard what looks good just ends up in a jumble.

 I do not live by myself or with five other design bloggers, I live with people. People with opinions and if left to their own devices my house would have medium blue walls which would be lined with recliners, Christmas lights, and knock about furniture.

I think good looking, functional interiors need to be carefully put together considering the needs and comfort of it's inhabitants. Personalization makes it fantastic but needs to be kept in check.

Remember this wonderful use of children's art and photos? It works because the color palette is simple. If you were to start adding yellow chairs because you like yellow and the four needlepoint pillows that Grandma gave you it would begin to be less cohesive. Conversely, this little setup would be very bland without the varied works of art.

I know many people like this image (above) but I think it is full of too many disparate objects.

Tell me what you think. Is there such a thing as a home that is too personalized?
I'll be announcing the giveaway winner later today so check back if you entered.

Floor lamps?

Did you ever see something that you thought was so ugly that it made you mad just looking at it?

OK, maybe I am overstating it but I had a headache (imagine that) and saw a few lamps that just bugged me. I have come to the realization that I prefer table lamps so the floor dwellers are at an immediate disadvantage when it comes to my opinion.

The first image is an offering from Horchow. I usually like Horchow but it looks like they tried to be RH for a while.

Here are the rest of the absurd lighting options I saw.

If you hate me get this for me

Really?

If have not gouged your eyes out yet, check out this one that takes aim but misses the equestrian chic look.

One last little bit of torture as I leave you chinoiserie gone wrong.

Keeping it real

This is only my kitchen in my dreams

I am about to be very stupid  brave and make it difficult for you to say something kind.

I am going to show you my kitchen and ask you for suggestions. HA!

It is like getting into a freezing cold pool, I have to ease into the ugly. 

That right there is the window above the sink. I have the fabric and lining cut in a linen toile for a valance where the silly hardware is now. Its been cut for at least six months. Tisk, tisk, I know.

I don't dare show you the faucet. Lets just say it is decidedly "low rent" looking.

Yes, folks I have black appliances. sniffle

I have dark cabinets, laminate counter tops, and no bulkhead or crown molding. Just boxes on the wall.

The oven/microwave is a mile from the cooktop and that annoys me.

At the very bottom of this photo you can see the edge of the thing I hate most... the peninsula with a bar height thingy. Yuck!

I suppose it would be easier to visualize with a floor plan.

My lazy drawing

 Between the wall oven and the end of the peninsula is a pinch point. It drives me crazy.

Behind that "bar thingy" is clutter central. I did not take a picture.

This last photo brings me to my question for you. I need ideas.

These antique, French canisters are the only thing I have on top of my cabinets. They are there simply because it was the only place to display them. I do not like ladders and I don't want to have to dust a bunch of stuff up there.

I am not redoing my kitchen anytime soon unless you buy a lot of paintings (hint) but I really want to make it look better. 

Ideas?

One thing, please do not say paint the cabinets. My husband painted the cabinets in our last house to sell it and used an entire week's vacation to do it. He will leave me for sure if I so much as mention it.

I am also not likely to put things on the counters. This is a hard working kitchen. My husband is a butcher, formerly a fishmonger. Food is important. 

But so are looks.

 I just want a little zhush.

So lay it on me. I am stumped.

The sentimental home

Collection of special things on my vanity

Little timeworn or threadbare pieces that are sprinkled through a house, seemingly without relevance to their surroundings are often a telltale sign of the owner's sentimentality. 

Some tuck these things away preferring a curated interior and others use them to punctuate their decor.

Eyeore peeks from the top of our highboy

In my bedroom, a pincushion in the shape of Eyeore peeks at us from its perch on our highboy and my bedside dresser holds an odd handmade basket of ribbon  flowers that were a gift when I was five.

Great-grandma's Victorian slipper chair

Some of these things I'd keep regardless of their origin. I just like them. Some are a struggle. The Victorian slipper chair is not my style but it was my great-grandmother's and I have fond memories of the part it played in my childhood.

When my grandfather died and the chair was up for grabs I initially left it behind because of the sheer volume of stuff I had to fit into my tiny house. Later I went back for it and I am glad I did. I will always regret the Chinese Chippendale chair that I passed up but it less sentimental value.

All of these things are the keepers of memories for me and make my house uniquely mine and add to the eccentricity.

Do you have any sentimental decor?

Design fickle

Did you ever fall head over heels for a fabric, lamp, piece of furniture for your home only to find something that you like better after you buy it?

 That has, lately, been the story of my decorating life.

For instance, the curtains in my kitchen and family room.

Chinoiserie print on linen on glass door

Family room with two yellow Robert Allen fabrics

I still like them. I had better like them for the cost prohibits just getting something new. Sometimes I wish I had chosen something more geometric but traditional too.

I second guess my choices in my own house often.

Another choice in my family room involves just being impatient.

That brown chair bugs me

The need for more seating than just a sofa was on my mind. I didn't want to fork over the cash for two Barcelona chairs and while antique shopping I bought the brown chair for $275. Hmmm. Not sure I should have done that. On the plus side, it weighs a ton and is very well made. It sat on Capitol Hill in some nameless congressman's office since the 1950's. It is rather petite and most importantly, kid-proof.

Maybe if I had waited a better option would've presented itself.

I like this one from CB2

There really are only a few things on my "regret list" but every time I look at them I think "should I have bought that?"

Do you have any home purchases that you regret?

Which came first-form or function?

Years ago, when I was in college I took a design theory class that I loved. If I could take that particular course again I would. Seeing it through different, older eyes would be interesting.

We talked about form and function mostly. We talked about the design of taillights, ad nauseum. 

We discussed stalacmites and stalactites and smoke vortices. 

I did a research paper on the latter. It covered the question "does form follow function?" I don't remember what I said but I put a lot of thought into it and I'm pretty sure I got a B+.

I still ponder this question on a day to day basis.

The mavericks of post-modern design answer the question with objects almost totally devoid of ornament. 

le Corbusier

When you discover beautiful things does this question come up? Do you wonder why it is you prefer one style over another?

roll arm

For instance, the curve of a roll-arm chair vs. a track-arm style seems on the surface to be a matter of style preference. The roll arm being for the sake of ornateness.

track arm

I think the roll-arm, while traditionally traditional, gets its form from the necessary function of comfort . The track-arm, while seemingly lacking in ornament is rather the opposite. Its streamlined appearance is for looks and not comfort.

I suppose that ornament does not necessarily lack function.
A painting's function is ornament.

In nature, form always follows function whether it be self-preservation or other forces that cause its form. 

In design, form does not always follow function. Sometimes form is just form.

While utilitarian need not be ugly, I think life would be pretty boring without ornament for ornament's sake.

Do you prefer purely functional, yet beautiful designs over decorative objects?