Monday, February 4, 2013

Your weekly dose of CL snark

You keep loving the snark, I'll keep writing it.
I usually start these fun little trips to bitchy-land with daily perusal of the "furniture" category of my local Craigslist. Most of it is boring ugly stuff but sometimes there is something to take note of.

Pick up the tissue, Slob!

Generally speaking, I am sufficiently grossed out by the faceless cooties of strangers lurking in upholstered furniture. Thanks to this listing I at least have an armpit AND a face to go with the pestilence.
$50 is way too much for couch cushions full of that guys stinky gas, don't you think?

I simply must show you the text of this listing.
Do you have family gatherings but never enough seating? Are you also drawn to bright dramatic colors? This is the table for you! It's your statment piece. Get the family talking about something besides themselves : ) The table top has a hand painted quote from English novelist Dodie Smith. About the family- " That octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts ever quite wish to."
The table has a formal feel but very casual at the same time. $150 or best offer 

 If you buy this table the family will definitely be talking about something other than themselves.

Me Tarzan, you Craig.
This is a listing for jungle decor with a plethora of pillows depicting animals, an oil lamp with no oil (above) and two coconut monkeys. The listing explains that one of the monkeys is missing an eye.
Now we all have to resume our search for a pair of coconut monkeys with intact eyes. Darn!

Last week's CL post poked fun at a less than appealing listing for a daybed and the accompanying yucky mattresses.

Oh Dear! Did they read my post?
Here is this week's tidy listing for what appears to be the same bed (in the same area too) minus the squalor and stains.

I'd love to clean up Craigslist, one snarky post at a time.
I think I will pick on a different city next week. I like it here and I don't want to get kicked out. But, seriously that octopus table!!!!!


Kim said...

When I am in Atlanta I find AMAZING things on CL ... here in Boston, I only find things from Ikea!! And I do like a good bargain, but seriously ... USED ikea furniture? It's too much!! xo

Patty Day @Pattys Epiphanies said...

Kerry you are a riot! I love your new "Project"! Can't wait to see what treasures you find next week!

Laurie said...

This is a scream! Love it.

Julie Taylor and Danni Greenwalt said...

We never have good things on Craig s list here....I'm not sure I will ever buy a upholstered piece off Craig s list again with out redoing it! That is just a gross thought...

The Pink Pagoda said...

I hope this will be a series -- so entertaining!

My Crafty Home Life said...

I wonder if that guy is single? I can't imagine who the "lucky girl" might be for him. The bed people must have read your post, and good for them. Now, it is a little more appealing.

PURA VIDA said...

You have gotten me so hooked on "the List"...I swear to pieces that last night I found a hanging lamp for sale...made of hot glued on cotton seemed to have also featured some kind of ballerina slippers, although I can't be certain of that...was the man on the couch intoxicated or just unaware/give a care that he would be featured on "the List"..oh my...keep going!

Kim@Chattafabulous said...

Are you for real? Lounging dude on sofa tells me everything I need to know to make a purchasing decision. yuck.

Loi Thai, Tone on Tone said...

LOL!!!! That iron bed looks much, much better :) And that first photo?? C'mon.....just a little effort.

Chateau À Gogo said...

This is hilarious. I mean seriously, the guy on the couch...what's up with that? Great post - Brandy

Nancy said...

hilarious! I can't believe some of the things I see on there. Love that jungle theme..hahaha I remember those drippy oil lamps growing up in my friends parent's homes...keep cleaning up CL Kerry!
xo Nancy

Vel Criste said...

Hahahaha!!! you did again Kerry! :-)